Why aren’t women invited?

Nobody remembers. We must’ve had a good reason to make this a stag event the first year or two. But why deny the Fair Sex now?

Surely, it isn’t the copious cigar smoke, the barroom badinage, or our single-minded absorption with brown potlikker and forlorn Highland hamlets?

Maybe it’s the skreeling of bagpipes and the happy mayhem of masculine amusement. Is there any woman alive who could make herself heard above such a din? (Present wives excepted, Hon.)

Nah. It’s gotta be the Haggis-breath.